sábado, noviembre 14, 2009

A través del vidrio hasta avergonzarse

Rogelio presiona el botón redondo y de él sale una torpe luz amarilla. Digo torpe, porque Rogelio está acostumbrado a la luz roja de los botones del ascensor de su edificio, mucho más modernos que éste con esa pálida luz amarilla que ni siquiera llega a encender toda la superficie del redondel. Es el octavo piso, y el silencio desvelado acentúa impúdico los ruidos de poleas y tantos otros mecanismos que no conozco. Algunos sonidos sólo se dejan ver de noche.

Se miran sin querer verse pero sin saber qué hacer sino. Minutos antes, Rogelio supo que nunca más vería a Clara. Clara, por su parte, nunca se puso a pensarlo, pero en realidad lo sabía desde hace unos días. Ahora ensayan diálogos que al día siguiente olvidarán. Ella juega con su ojota izquierda, sacándosela y poniéndosela mientras se sostiene con la pierna que queda. Él mira su juego, y recuerda la primera vez que bajó a abrirle la puerta. Descalza y con un vestidito que apenas la disimulaba. Sin el menor reparo, como si ella decidiera cuándo el mundo entra y cuándo no.

Un olvido mentado deja el disco de Jorge Drexler en casa de Clara. Están a pasos de su puerta, esperando el ascensor para que ella le abra la puerta de entrada. Rogelio no lo olvida para volverlo a buscar, sino movido por la esperanza fatua de paliar el olvido. Los recuerdos son solubles en fábulas, pero la materia permanece. Conoce un poco a Clara- no hubo tiempo para más-, y sabe que si se lo dice, ella no aceptaría. Además, como buen hijo de un occidente nostálgico, considera más romántico el acto clandestino. La irracionalidad poética es lo único asequible en la tragedia del desencuentro.

Un sonido metálico lo devuelve a ficciones más cercanas. Llega el ascensor, la luz amarilla del redondel se apaga. Rogelio abre las puertas y deja pasar a Clara como le enseñaron de chico. Ahí, encerrados en ese cuadrado dos por dos, la extravagancia entra en clímax. Él hace un chiste, ella no lo escucha pero adivina el tono y se ríe. Todo resulta y desencajado. Un tiempo fuera del tiempo, un tiempo chueco, obligado a ser extraño a sí mismo. Dos viejitos bailando cumbia en un casamiento. Donde la torpeza no existe siquiera porque tampoco hay modo alguno de hacerlo bien.

De niño, en sus viajes por la ciudad, a Rogelio le gustaba mucho ir al zoológico. Cuenta siempre su madre que cuando su hijo miraba los elefantes, ya pensaba en las jirafas; y cuando las jirafas, los leones. Ahora Rogelio y Clara en el encierro obligado por cincuenta segundos enteros, y Rogelio se escapa pensando en la puerta de entrada. Hay una razón: el beso de despedida en la puerta. Rogelio planea darle un gran, gran beso. De nuevo, no por el afán de retenerla, pero sí de retenerse. Dejar a Clara con ese beso en la boca cuando vuelva por el pasillo, en los cincuenta segundos de vuelta por el ascensor y hasta unos minutos ya dentro de su departamento. Supone que ella no se negará. Quién te dice, quizás pasa como en la televisión y un día se encuentran en un colectivo con aquel beso paspado en algún lugar de sus bocas.

El ascensor se detiene en planta baja. Rogelio abre las dos puertas y cede el paso a Clara, quien tampoco ésta vez le agradece el gesto. Caminan por el pasillo angosto, largo y blanco sin mirarse. El chancleteo de Clara es lo único que dispone al tiempo a moverse y al pasillo a terminar. Llegan a la puerta. Rogelio se acerca levemente para no amedrentar. Clara saca la llave del bolsillo, la gira en la cerradura y abre la puerta.

Del lado del afuera se descubre un chico, con remera y gorra del mismo color. Pregunta si son para ellos las cervezas. Clara y Rogelio contestan que no a destiempo. Se quedan en el umbral y Rogelio avanza diez centímetros más. Una ráfaga de aire frío irrumpe con el ruido de los colectivos y ella se estremece. Rogelio busca su boca y Clara la encuentra. Entonces escuchan los pasos ligeros de alguien que se acerca y deben separarse casi sin haberse juntado. Se corren un poco al costado para dejar pasar al hombre y observan sin pensarlo la transacción. Clara evidencia el frío, Rogelio ensaya otro beso rápido y sale por la puerta antes que el comprador la cierre con llave.

Clara da media vuelta y comienza a hundirse con sus ojotas en el pasillo. Rogelio la mira un segundo a través del vidrio hasta avergonzarse. Saluda con un ademán al chico del delivery que enciende su moto. Camina hasta la esquina, se detiene sin decidirse a dónde ir. La gente, los autos, los colectivos, las luces.




28 comentarios:

joAco dijo...

Hay un momento mágico en primavera, donde todo tiene sabor a otoño.

Pero no deja de ser primavera.

Jules dijo...

En el final todo es tan rápido que es tan triste. Eso, que ya sabías, y es de taimado. Igual me gusta, claro.

Agustin dijo...

Pensar a la relación como una tragedia me fascina, aunque me preocupa que solo la pueda pensar con este tipo de figura.
Es increíble lo que nos parecemos, aunque sea en niveles totalmente diferentes.
Saludos desde el más acá

Adrienne dijo...

"Ciertamente la irracionalidad poética es lo único asequible en la tragedia del desencuentro."

Me gusta esto.
Me gusta la forma que adquirió tu idea. Me gusta oir el chancleteo de Clara en las últimas palabras.

Beso

Claroscuro dijo...

hacía mucho que no te leía che. será porque en el fondo te odio como piensa anahí, o te envidio como pensás vos. quién sabe. escribís muy bien, eso si.

pezmurillo dijo...

Nos siento bastante viejos como para sentimientos tan idílicos.

Vení, pasá, tomáte un café y disfrutá de la tibieza.

Claroscuro dijo...

Jajaja. Es un buen punto che. Tal vez hasta te acepte ese café.

Jules dijo...

qué bajón.
-7, entonces.

Clara dijo...

Odio toparme con mi nombre en los relatos. Bah, no sé si lo odio, pero me genera incomodidad, es raro...

Igual me gustó mucho. Genera como una angustia rara, no sé... no estoy muy precisa, pero eso... supongo que me entendiste.

pio dijo...

una vez, sólo una vez, di un beso de despedida y no estaba el chico del delivery en el medio / las luces, los autos, la gente, alguien que te habla, el telefonito, el vecino que justo ese día se le ocurrió madrugar, un perro, la cumbia, dios / siempre algo en el medio / no sé si tuve mala suerte o de ver tantas películas se me disfrazó el mundo / pero esa vez, la vez en que di un beso de despedida sin nada en el medio, no me quería despedir

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